Apr 30, 2021 | Faith
Friends! I am so excited to share with you my commitment to God this year.
As I entered into this new year, I reviewed some dreams I was ready to make into reality and began trying to plan what I would like to accomplish. But, as always, God helped make those plans for me.
Getting on Track
At the start of this year a close friend of mine reached out and asked if I would be interested in joining her Bible reading plan (aka reading the entire Bible over the course of one year). It felt like divine fate! God knew this was a year of action for me, and the perfect year to find power in studying His word. I realized that the lack of community and accountability were huge factors in my failure, so God made sure this plan was primed for my success by willing it through a friend.
How It’s Going
Let me tell you, I have been active about reading self-help books in my life, but nothing can compare to spending such intimate time with the Lord’s words. I get to experience his truths daily in the most productive and collaborative environment!
We are only a little over 100+ days in, but the work God is doing inside of me is life-changing.
I feel engaged with His text, and as a group, we are able to strengthen our bonds with him both individually and collectively.
Make Your Own Plan
Maybe for you, this reminder is all the push you need to put your own Bible plan together. You can embark on the journey solo, engaging with God one-on-one, or get a group of faith-minded friends together and do the Lord’s work through a book club!
Every step you take towards Him is one He will reciprocate with leaps.
I look forward to sharing with you more about my experience as I delve deeper into His word and hope you will share your experiences with your own Bible reading plan!
Jan 30, 2021 | Faith, Family & Home
Finding Balance Through Self-Care
I will admit, I most certainly have a tendency to… let’s say, overcommit to some of my gospels. First and foremost? Philippians 2:3. You know, the part that says “Count others more significant than yourselves.” I can’t tell you how often I find myself run ragged trying to ensure that all those around me have what they need; nice clothes, exercise, balanced meals, spiritual enrichment, and this list goes on. Meanwhile, I push myself to the side, looking like a stray dog, overweight, body aching, eating cake for breakfast.
Get Honest With Yourself
At some point, I had to recognize that self neglect had become something I was so guilty of, it was damaging my health. Self-care never was a priority for me because I so frequently struggled under the false burden to prove I was an excellent follower of Christ by being servant to my family and community. Don’t get me wrong, this verse should be very instrumental in our day to day lives, but never at the risk of our own mental and physical wellbeing.
Understand All That You Give
I entered 2020 running on empty, exhausted with my life, emotionally defeated, and physically drained. I look back now and know that had God not revealed to me early on the importance of caring for myself, I would have broken. He gave me a simple lesson: you cannot fill another’s cup if yours is empty. We are called to live selflessly, without conceit, to not show partiality, and to display the same unconditional love and servanthood to our neighbors as Christ does for us. Nevertheless, God desires for us to be whole in Him first by obtaining a great level of spiritual health. We must remember that Christ needs us to give to ourselves so that we may then give to others.
“Caring for myself does not make me self-centered, it does not negate all that I do for others.”
Fix Yourself Up
It has certainly been a year of growth, but I am most thankful that finally I have gathered the awareness that my overall health is just as important as the health of those closest to me.
Moreover, caring for myself does not make me self-centered, it does not negate all that I do for others, nor does it take away from living out my calling through Christ.
So how am I going to make changes in my self-care this year?
^
This means a long list of exercising, drinking more water, taking my supplements, limiting my sugar intake, seeing my health care providers and yes that includes my massage therapist.
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I need to seek assistance to properly confront my anxiety and OCD, and overcome the stigmas I associate with needing help.
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Embrace the people around me that bring me love and laughter.
It is time I learned that caring for myself equips me to understand what I need in all facets of life and to be able to identify when those needs aren’t being met. And boy, am I going overboard with it this year!
Dec 31, 2020 | Faith
Suffice to say, 2020 has had its fair share of lows. As for all of us, the global pandemic has forced me to navigate so many unforeseen challenges with family, friends, and faith. It has been a year of adjusting and readjusting, adapting to changes that seem to appear at the drop of a hat. And while I have struggled to overcome each new obstacle, 2020 has forced me (as JJ Heller would say) to find the “big magic in the mundane, the big picture in a small frame”.
What I Learned Along the Way
For all its difficulties, this year brought to the forefront some lessons that I was remiss to have forgotten. I was reminded of the things I take for granted, the necessity of finding time to care for myself in the midst of caring for so many others around me, and the simple fact that none of us can ever truly have it all together, and that’s okay! 2020 has given me the gift of remembering that valuing life and time with your family, and prioritizing grace, unconditional love, and forgiveness is the most important thing we can do. Time doesn’t stand still for anyone, and as this year closes, I am finding myself thankful to be reminded that each moment is a blessing.
Finding Faith in the Chaos
We certainly couldn’t have predicted the events of this year, but we do get to choose how we respond to it, who we will believe in, how faith will take us forward. Above all else, 2020 has made it evident why it’s imperative to believe in someone bigger than the trials of today. We must saturate ourselves in God’s word and prayer. We must embrace the beauty of vulnerability and living in community. Despite the many challenges I may have endured, this year especially, God has repeatedly shown me His Victory. He has opened my eyes to new ways of experiencing Him.
Stepping Forward Without Fear
As 2021 rapidly approaches, I find myself calm. While the unknown is always scary, I feel that God is pushing me out of my comfort zone into a new season of life. So next year? Next year, I am along for the ride, surrendering to be used as a vessel. I am remembering what 2020 has taught me, what God has illuminated amongst the hardship. I am leaving behind the fear and doubt that have kept me in bondage. As we embark upon a new year I’m eager for God to help me discern His voice, to know that He will reveal Himself to me like never before, even in the midst of the chaos. Let us remember as the New Year rings in, together, with the help of God, we can move mountains.
Dec 29, 2020 | Faith
In the most recent weeks, I’ve been attempting to establish new boundaries and find ways to simplify my life a little more. It’s extremely challenging to simplify when my expectations are rather high AND that little control issue I have tend to creep back in. Control is often a quality we associate with success; being in control and being able to control imply a sense of power, an impact on your surroundings. But lately, as I navigate through so many transitions at once, I have found that sometimes my need for control has driven me to complicate things in my life that would otherwise be simple.
Embrace the Unexpected
In a year where transition has been unexpected and frequent, I find my need to control the outcomes of every situation overwhelming. We all want to be sure of how everything is going to turn out, to do all we can to get positive results. Sometimes though, the effort we put in exceeds the benefits we get out. We miss out on the moments that we should be cherishing. Why? Because we are contributing so much complexity to our life and our decisions.
Introducing Boundaries
As a New Year’s resolution, I am eager to work on simplifying my life a bit and trying to enjoy outcomes that may surprise me. How do I do this? By reintroducing a recurring matter in my life: boundaries. By accepting my limits as a person and relinquishing control over every facet of my life, I am finding a new brand of success, a way of making my life flow easier.
Finding Trust
Boundaries alone, however, aren’t enough to add simplicity to your life. You must pair every boundary with trust. Trust that if you release control, someone else will pick up that slack. Trust that someone else’s approach may still bring positive outcomes, even if it is different from what you would do (those dishes will still get clean even if your husband isn’t as good at loading the dishwasher Tetris style). Trust that others will understand when you need to say “no” (sometimes prioritizing your mental health means you can’t always be available).
And if all else fails? All it takes is remembering with grace that God is looking out, that the ultimate control is His.
I am allowing myself to let go and trust in Him from this day forward.
Oct 30, 2020 | Faith
We live in a changing world, but we serve a God who is unchanging. While many things in life are fleeting, change is one thing that can be relied upon as a constant, and yet it can still awaken fear within us. We experience change daily, from small changes in our schedules and routines, to major changes in our health and homes. When we can be so sure of change, it often drives me to wonder:
Why do we rely on stability?
We become used to the familiar, comfortable with what we already know —and in comfortability, there is security. When we know what to expect, we know how to prepare ourselves and how to operate under the circumstances we are provided with. We see stability as success. Outside of our comfort and security bubble is where fear starts to creep in. But in truth, it is change that challenges us and encourages us to replace that which is old to become a newer and better version of ourselves in Christ.
Change conforms us into the image of Christ.
Despite knowing that change can bring goodness, it doesn’t stop me from experiencing fear in its wake. When I find myself shaken by my circumstances and experiencing rampant thoughts, I am pointed back to Christ. I find beauty in knowing that as we change, Christ remains. He provides the stability that our daily lives cannot. Through Him, we can find consistency and courage to face the unknown. He is the beginning and the end, and He does not compromise His values. In Him we find the most important stability—eternal significance that stretches beyond this world. As the world around us changes, we can revel in the knowing that in the presence of His grace, we shall live eternal.
I have learned to build my hope in Christ. As I seek security, I do so, not through stability, but through embracing change knowing that God has a plan.
Imagine change as hydroplaning. When you’re hydroplaning, you’re meant to turn your wheel into the direction you’re traveling in order to realign your tires and regain control. The same can be said when change occurs in our lives. Don’t resist it; lean into the change. Find your security in knowing that this will be further transforming you into the image of Christ.
Oceans will rise, kingdoms will fall, but the world of the Lord stands forever. The sun will fade and this world will one day pass, but God remains the same. Let us embrace change as a facet to bring us closer to Christ, closer to our true potential, and closer to the beauty He creates in the unpredictability of the future.
Sep 29, 2020 | Faith
As young children, it was easy to connect with our peers over something as simple as our favorite color or Disney character. But as we grow older, it can become harder to connect.
Navigating friendships has been a challenge for me. I’m a busy wife and mom, and between caring for my family, teaching homeschool, philanthropy work, and The F Word Blog, I have to be really intentional about the relationships I build and maintain with others.
I love my friends, and I consider them an extension of my family, but I’ve had to adjust my expectations. Sure, some people have one BFF that they do everything with, but I’ve come to realize that this isn’t always realistic! It’s important to learn that we can have something special and unique with each of our friends.
I’ve taken some time to share a few ways that friendships change and how to cope during these kinds of situations.
Here are six ways that friendships change and how to cope with those changes:
- New Interests
As we open ourselves to new environments and meet new people, it’s only natural that our interests evolve. You may no longer be interested in the same books or movies you were as a kid. With nothing in common to talk about, it can be hard to keep a conversation going, but think about it: just like you’re getting into new things, your friends are, too. Sharing the new things that bring you interest still comes with opportunities to connect.
2. New Friends
Moving through different circles and jobs connect you to a new network of people. As you get used to being in a new setting, it’s normal to create bonds with people who have helped you along the way. It’s also normal, as you build these new relationships to maintain room for the friends you’ve had all along. As easy as it is to get caught up in the time we spend on building and maintaining the connections we create, it’s important to understand that we are constantly evolving, and we may grow closer or further away from certain people.
3. New Moves
Some of us may have had a childhood friend who moved to another city or state in the middle of the school year. Talk about devastating! This happens for adults, too! When a friend moves to another area, spending time or even keeping in touch becomes an afterthought. However, that’s no excuse to throw the whole friendship away. It just requires some creativity, and if the bond is important to you, you’ll find ways to keep the relationship strong.
4. Social Media
We’re all guilty of it: the mindless scrolling on Instagram or some other platform. Seeing the highlight reel of our friends’ lives makes us feel like we’re experiencing things with them. Social media may give us a sense of connection, but there’s nothing like the real thing. We’re all busy! But a quick text to check in on a close friend is always more meaningful than hitting that like button.
5. Starting a Family
Children require energy and time. As they grow up, the amount of activities increases and there’s even less time to spend taking a break—let alone seeing a friend. As parents, we have to make sure we’re taking care of our own needs, and that includes being intentional about the people we want to keep close in our circle.
6. Life
It happens to all of us – literally. Life can get in the way. You get a text or a missed call from a friend, make a (notoriously reliable) mental note to call them back, and then BOOM! A week has passed, and you realize that you completely forgot to get in touch with them. Things happen, and a good friend will be sure to understand that. A tip for times like this? Try to respond right away, even if your response is as simple as, “I’m super busy right now, but I’ll call you back when I can!” A little acknowledgment really goes a long way.
Our priorities shift as we grow older, and there are days where we have to make adjustments with our time. Naturally, our needs can take a backseat to our spouses and kids. But always remember that you are important, too. Yes, the relationships we have with our friends evolve, but there are ways to manage those changes and stay true to ourselves!
Practice being creative and intentional about maintaining and cultivating friendships. We are stronger and happier together!
