As young children, it was easy to connect with our peers over something as simple as our favorite color or Disney character. But as we grow older, it can become harder to connect.
Navigating friendships has been a challenge for me. I’m a busy wife and mom, and between caring for my family, teaching homeschool, philanthropy work, and The F Word Blog, I have to be really intentional about the relationships I build and maintain with others.
I love my friends, and I consider them an extension of my family, but I’ve had to adjust my expectations. Sure, some people have one BFF that they do everything with, but I’ve come to realize that this isn’t always realistic! It’s important to learn that we can have something special and unique with each of our friends.
I’ve taken some time to share a few ways that friendships change and how to cope during these kinds of situations.
Here are six ways that friendships change and how to cope with those changes:
- New Interests
As we open ourselves to new environments and meet new people, it’s only natural that our interests evolve. You may no longer be interested in the same books or movies you were as a kid. With nothing in common to talk about, it can be hard to keep a conversation going, but think about it: just like you’re getting into new things, your friends are, too. Sharing the new things that bring you interest still comes with opportunities to connect.
2. New Friends
Moving through different circles and jobs connect you to a new network of people. As you get used to being in a new setting, it’s normal to create bonds with people who have helped you along the way. It’s also normal, as you build these new relationships to maintain room for the friends you’ve had all along. As easy as it is to get caught up in the time we spend on building and maintaining the connections we create, it’s important to understand that we are constantly evolving, and we may grow closer or further away from certain people.
3. New Moves
Some of us may have had a childhood friend who moved to another city or state in the middle of the school year. Talk about devastating! This happens for adults, too! When a friend moves to another area, spending time or even keeping in touch becomes an afterthought. However, that’s no excuse to throw the whole friendship away. It just requires some creativity, and if the bond is important to you, you’ll find ways to keep the relationship strong.
4. Social Media
We’re all guilty of it: the mindless scrolling on Instagram or some other platform. Seeing the highlight reel of our friends’ lives makes us feel like we’re experiencing things with them. Social media may give us a sense of connection, but there’s nothing like the real thing. We’re all busy! But a quick text to check in on a close friend is always more meaningful than hitting that like button.
5. Starting a Family
Children require energy and time. As they grow up, the amount of activities increases and there’s even less time to spend taking a break—let alone seeing a friend. As parents, we have to make sure we’re taking care of our own needs, and that includes being intentional about the people we want to keep close in our circle.
6. Life
It happens to all of us – literally. Life can get in the way. You get a text or a missed call from a friend, make a (notoriously reliable) mental note to call them back, and then BOOM! A week has passed, and you realize that you completely forgot to get in touch with them. Things happen, and a good friend will be sure to understand that. A tip for times like this? Try to respond right away, even if your response is as simple as, “I’m super busy right now, but I’ll call you back when I can!” A little acknowledgment really goes a long way.
Our priorities shift as we grow older, and there are days where we have to make adjustments with our time. Naturally, our needs can take a backseat to our spouses and kids. But always remember that you are important, too. Yes, the relationships we have with our friends evolve, but there are ways to manage those changes and stay true to ourselves!
Practice being creative and intentional about maintaining and cultivating friendships. We are stronger and happier together!
