“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day.” – Noah (The Notebook)
This quote comes from a scene in The Notebook, (my favorite love story) where Allie and Noah have a huge argument. At this point, Noah expresses how willing he is to work through their disagreements because he wants her no matter what.
Marriage is the partnership between two sinful individuals—and sin plus sin typically does not equal perfection. Within marriage, I’ve been exposed to some ugly truths about myself. My flesh is wicked, constantly battling to overshadow the God that lives within me.
Naturally, we are flawed, selfish, impatient, and battling some sort of insecurity. While it’s easier to frequently be a finger pointer or the self-righteous one, I’m constantly reminded that the relationship is bigger than me. It’s bigger than us. Marriage was designed by God and we all know the enemy ain’t liking that! But marriage is for better or worse, and I have bound our vows around my neck and written them on the tablet of my heart!
Marriage has taught me that it’s crucial to pinpoint your enemy and your teammates. Being proactive and implementing guidelines to operate within is also vital. As I’ve stated before, I don’t necessarily enjoy team sports. I naturally flow better solo. But through marriage, I’m learning how to be an effective team player. Doing so has certainly strengthened my faith. It’s pushed me to rely on God and His truths. I choose not to rely on my own sinful ways, understanding, or strengths. When building a marriage that will last, know that it’s different from Hollywood’s love stories where the people dive off in the car and live “Happily Ever After”.
We never see the crisis they are faced with or how they balance all the things that come with life. Trials and hardships are a part of each of our lives individually, as well as our marriages. It’s inevitable, so establishing a plan of action is crucial for when things happen unexpectedly. We live in a world full of chaos and sin. How will you respond each time the enemy attempts to attack your marriage? Surrendering it all to God immediately should always be our first response.
Additionally, refuse to allow the schemes of the enemy to prevail. Stand firmly with locked arms, united hearts, and eyes fixed on the one who’s paid it all (the Lord). I often say marriage is like a Dorito chip, not the crumbled ones, lol. But with God at top and each of us working our way from the bottom up our individual side to Him, we won’t crumble. He will sustain us individually and collectively.
If you’re looking to strengthen your marriage, it’s important to first fuel your faith and know who’s number one, God. When you’re both pursuing Him earnestly, you can rise above all circumstances! Also, always seek wise counsel. Be consistent. When everything appears to be good, still check for cracks to seal that may or may not be visible.
I recall when we were engaged we made a vow to get marriage counseling every year regardless of how good we felt we were. It’s an ongoing investment to attempt to keep us on one accord. Life is a journey and marriage is a journey for life. As the days roll by I vow to constantly gain a greater understanding of my Husband, myself, and faith! I encourage you to pursue being a woman, man, and/or family after God’s own heart!
